Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
