You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
