he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
