STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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