Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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