I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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