my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
