all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
