Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
