Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
