In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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