found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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