i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
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