Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
