I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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