She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
