well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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