I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
not ubering you a puppy
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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