He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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