K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
