he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
