She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
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