Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
