O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
