..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
