I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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