i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
