it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
