I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
