How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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