i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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