Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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