"it" just moved
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
