so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
