some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
