In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
