Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
