So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The struggles of a small town man whore
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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