im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
