new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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