Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
