Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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