you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
