I'm jealous of your bromance
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
