white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
