Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
