I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
