oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i think i have two assholes
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
