I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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