i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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