I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
