So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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