HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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