Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
